Popular Quotes By Famous People (Had They Been a Doctor or a Nurse).

Ever wonder what Bill Clinton or Martin Luther King or Jesus would have said if they were a doctor or a nurse?  Ever wonder what their famous quotes would have sounded like had they been in the medical field?  The Happy Hospitalist has.   Doctors and nurses are different.  Their training changes them.  In some ways for the good and and some ways for the bad.  For many , they develop a different sense of humor.  That's good for you because that's how we found out what Bill Clinton actually would have said if he tried albuterol instead of marijuana.   We discover what Martin Luther King's 'I Have a Dream' speech would have been titled if he was a Dermatologist instead.  And we discover what Jesus, as head spokesman for the Palliative Care Association of America, really meant for DNR to mean.

No longer do you have to wonder how life would have been if these famous people were in the medical field.  Years of investigative journalism has uncovered the answers to this questions.

Soup Nazi, MD - "No Dilaudid for you!"

The real quote - "No soup for you!"

Bill Clinton, MD - "I experimented with albuterol a time or two, and I didn't like it.  I didn't inhale and I never tried it again."

The real quote - "I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didn't like it.  I didn't inhale and I never tried it again."

Julius Caesar, RN - He actually said, "I came.  I saw.  I gave Ativan."

The real quote - "I came.  I saw.  I conquered."

Jesus, MD - "Choose DNR when you're Dead 'N Ready."

Martin Luther King Jr, MD - "I Have a Cream"

He really said - "I Have A Dream."

George H.W. Bush, RN - "Read my lips:  no new preauthorization faxes".

He really said - "Read my lips:  no new taxes."

Abraham Lincoln, RN - "Ativan works better than words."

He really said - "Actions speak louder than words."

Theodore Roosevelt, RN - "Speak softly and carry a big vial of Ativan."

He really said - "Speak softly and carry a big stick."

Jane Fonda, RN - "No pain, no Dilaudid."

She really said - "No pain, no gain."

Buddha, RN - "Peace comes from within Haldol.  Do not seek it without it."

He really said - "Peace comes from within.  Do not seek it without it."

Socrates, RN - "The only true wisdom is in knowing you know how to dose Haldol."

He really said - "The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing."

Sir Isaac Newton, RN - "To every action there is always opposed an equal reaction to give Ativan."

He really said - "To every action there is always opposed an equal reaction."

Winston Churchill, RN - "Never, never, never give up on an IV start."

He really said - "Never, never, never give up."

John F. Kennedy, RN - "My fellow Americans, ask not what your nurse can do for you, ask what you can do for your nurse."

He really said - "My fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."

Jim Valvano, RN - "Don't give up.  Don't ever give up on your IV start."

He really said - "Don't give up.  Don't ever give up."

United Negro Nursing College Fund Slogan - "A vial of Ativan is a terrible thing to waste."

The real slogan - "A mind is a terrible thing to waste."

Rodney Dangerfield, RN - "Why don't you call me sometime when you have no caths."

In the movie Back To School, he really said - "Why don't you call me sometime when you have no class."

 

This post contains humor that may only be understood by some health care professionals. Read at your own risk.

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