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Thanksgiving Meme Humor Collection

Enjoy this fine collection of Thanksgiving Day humor meme's you won't find anywhere else except on The Happy Hospitalist's Facebook Page, Pinterest and Twitter accounts. Make sure to join today and never miss another day of the humor action again! And don't forget to check out the hospital that closed for the entire Thanksgiving weekend!

"Today we are thankful for Ativan. Oh yeah, and Haldol too."

Today we are thankful for Ativan. Oh yeah, and Haldol too medical humor meme photo.

"Prepare yourself. Understaffed hospital coming!"

"Oh, so you gained 15 pounds of fluid after Thanksgiving? Tell me more about how my dialysis orders are all wrong."

"Prepare yourself. Pureed turkey and stuffing is coming!"

"Prepare yourself! Holiday admits are coming!"

"What if I told you Thanksgiving was a fowl holiday?"

"I don't always celebrate Thanksgiving, but when I do I drink Wild Turkey!"

Hospital Closes for Thanksgiving Weekend. Doctors and Nurses Rejoice!

Denver, CO -- The parking lot was empty at Piedmont Hospital today after security locked the doors, turned off the lights and erected 'No Smoking or Trespassing' signs throughout the campus. Administrators made good on their promise to close the hospital for the extended Thanksgiving holiday weekend allowing all doctors and nurses a rare vacation at home with their families, a strategy in direct competition with Black Friday Hospital Deals.

The idea was born after Nurse Jenny, a new graduate who was upset nobody ever told her before she went to nursing school that she'd have to work most holidays for the rest of her life, half-heartedly put the idea in the Suggestion Box last year.

"The suggestion box is a joke. I was shocked when Jenny's idea became a law. Every year I ask for a raise, better staffing and a Hoyer lift that can handle more than 400 pounds and I get nothing. But Jenny gets us a four day holiday weekend on her first try?" said a veteran nurse who hasn't seen a suggestion implemented from the box since 1986's idea to not have to stand up when a doctor entered the room.

The 400-bed level one trauma center became the first hospital in the country to trial the four day Thanksgiving holiday closure. Preparations began last week when the emergency department went on diversion for all ambulances and walk-ins.

"Whenever an ambulance would call requesting transport to our ER, we'd tell them all our doctors were tied up with mandatory Ebola training exercises and they would have to divert to another hospital. We just couldn't risk having a train wreck traveling by ambulance to an LTAC unit from another hospital divert to our hospital en route and trash our plans to shut down," said Johnny Flemming, an ER doctor who plans to read Gomerblog nonstop during his 4 day holiday weekend.

To prevent any potential walk-ins from getting admitted in the last week, an EMTALA compliant screening exam was provided in triage. Over 98% of the patients were determined to have non-urgent conditions and referred to an urgent care center. The other 2% were evaluated by the ER doctor but diverted to another hospital because the Hospitalists had implemented a one patient per day admission cap for the week leading up to the holiday weekend and the ER had no way of verifying if one patient had already been admitted.

By capping admissions at one patient per day, Hospitalists did their part to ensure hospital beds were emptied by Thanksgiving Day. "A week ago I was rounding on 25 patients a day. Yesterday I rounded on one patient and that's just because the social worker had already left for the day and the patient didn't want to go home because he couldn't find his shoes and nobody knew what to do, " said Heather Valentine, a Hospitalist, who plans to make Oreo turkey cookies from a picture she found on Pinterest yesterday.

ICU cleared out with patient-family-centric policy

The intensive care unit, normally filled with chronically debilitated patients who are alive, but not really, was emptied and closed down two days before Thanksgiving by implementing a patient-centric-family-centric-extended-family-centric-non-english-speaking-centric-non-nurse-centric-no-wrist-restrain policy. Starting last week, all ICU patients had their wrist restraints removed in favor of bedside-family-talk-down therapy for any agitation and confusion. All sedatives were added to the list of medications in critically short supply and restricted to end-of-life patients only. Miraculously, patient after patient self-extubated and were determined to be end-of-life, filled with compassionate Ativan and died peacefully in their ICU bed.

"It was the most glorious week of celestial discharges ever," said Dr. Valentine, who usually wins ICU BINGO at least twice a month.

Some hospital administrators wondered how Piedmont hospital could afford to shut down for four days, but an internal memo provided to The Happy Hospitalist suggests hospital CFO Blake Banner is projecting a 30% labor cost advantage over the next 10 years by closing during Black Friday sales.

"The more indebted our employees become, the more insecure they are about leaving their jobs. That will allow us lower annual cost of living adjustments, fewer bonuses and a larger mix of crappy benefits over time. If this closure is successful, I recommend a trial of Christmas and Columbus Day closures to take advantage of retail sales events during those times as well."

Ferguson Missouri County Hospital Looted. Facebook Likes Explode.

Ferguson, MO -- Violence and looting brought chaos to Ferguson, Missouri yesterday after a grand jury decision not to indict a white police officer involved in the death of Michael Brown, an unarmed black teenager who died earlier this year. Ferguson County Hospital was spared no relief as rioters stormed the hospital hoping to loot anything they could get their hands on.

But ransackers were disappointed to find the county hospital had nothing to take. "We're a county hospital. We don't have anything to steal,'" said James Valentine, Vice President of Public Relations at the hospital.

Ferguson County Hospital, a state-of-the-art 200 bed hospital back in 1942, now survives on the goodwill of volunteer doctors, nurses and local charities for medical supplies.

"Our crumbling hospital was last updated in 1967 since the county has spent all their money rebuilding Ferguson after the riots of 1972, 1979, 1986, 1994, 2002, and 2014. And today the county is cutting our budget by 30% to pay for future anticipated riots."

Several dozen well known alcoholics used the upheaval as an opportunity to storm the ER in search of a narkey [narcotics and a turkey sandwich], but were disappointed when all they found were crates filled with expired Tylenol, Prilosec and Miralax donated by doctors who cleaned out their offices.

James urged looting protesters to receive notifications on future supply shipments by liking the Ferguson County Hospital Facebook Page. "If there is one good thing that has come from these riots, it's that our Facebook page went from 2,000 to 200,000 likes in just a couple days."

"One or two more riots likes this and I'm hoping we can get to a million likes on our Facebook page. That would look pretty good on my resume."

Orthopedic Surgeon Excited To Complete Fellowship in Left Pinky.

St Louis, MO -- Dr. James Bender is proud to call St. Louis home after 12 grueling years of training to become just one of five orthopedic surgeons nationwide super super subspecialized in the left pinky finger. Redding Orthopedics, the largest multispecialty orthopedic practice in Missouri, hired Dr. Bender last month to be the group's go-to-guy for left pinky pathology. He joins other highly specialized orthopedists in the group, including one spine surgeon who will only operate on L3 and a wrist surgeon who will only tackle injuries of the right Positions* bone

To become a super, super subspecialist, Dr. Bender had to complete four years of medical school, a five year orthopedic residency, a one year hand fellowship, a one year bilateral pinky fellowship and a one year left pinky fellowship. After 12 years of clinical training, he joins just four other distinguished colleagues on the American Academy of Left Pinky Orthopedic Surgeons.

"I thought about doing another one year fellowship on the distal phalange of the left pinky but I was finally ready to make a difference in people's lives between 8 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays that don't fall on a holiday," said Dr Bender,who was later shocked to learn he would still have to take general ortho call for his group at four different hospitals.

"I intentionally super, super subspecialized myself into outpatient orthopedics, but my group made made me take all general ortho and trauma call day and night for the next two years, I don't even remember the bones of the hip anymore."

Hospitalists and ER doctors were livid at Redding Orthopedics. "That group has been pulling this crap for years. Whenever we call Dr. Bender, he says 'I don't do anything but the left pinky' and hangs up, So we end up calling the hospitalist and tell them there's an admit for delirium that happens to have a broken hip," said Dr Phil Fedder, an ER doctor who's greatest achievement so far has been to work an entire day without being cynical.

Very few hospital staff have ever met Dr. Bender . "I thought for sure I'd get to meet him last week when I had a man with hairline fracture of his right pinky come in by ambulance, but Dr. Bender made sure to let me know he only operates on the left pinky," said Dr Fedder.

* Mnemonic for wrist bones: Some Lovers Try Positions They Can't Handle.

People with Disabilities and the ACA

The Affordable Care Act (ACA) is making health insurance coverage more affordable and accessible for millions of Americans. With the passage of this law, individuals and families have more control over their care – especially individuals with disabilities. The ACA provides people with disabilities a basic protection – they can no longer be denied access to health insurance simply because of their health history.

Under the ACA, individuals like myself can no longer be denied health care because of a pre-existing condition. This is significant for the up to 129 million non-elderly Americans living with some type of pre-existing health condition such as asthma or diabetes, including 17.6 million children.

We have come a long way over the past year. All combined, in just one year, we’ve reduced the number of uninsured adults by 26%. Additionally, 76 million Americans with private health insurance are getting preventive services such as vaccines, cancer screenings, and yearly wellness visits for free. Finally, more than 7 million Americans are enrolled in the Marketplace and more than 8 million additional individuals are enrolled in Medicaid and CHIP, compared to last fall.

We have much to celebrate but there is work to be done. November 15 marks the beginning of the second enrollment period, which will run until February 15. The Administration is committed to ensuring that all Americans have access to coverage. The open enrollment period is a time for Americans already enrolled to re-enroll. It is also a chance for those without coverage to enroll for the first time.

Take a few minutes to watch Joey talk about what the ACA has meant for him and millions of others:

To learn more about getting covered, please visit HealthCare.gov.

By Taryn Williams
Associate Director of the White House Office of Public Engagement.

Posted with permission from The White House Blog

Mayo Clinic Sued By Hellmann's Maker For False Advertising.

Rochester, MN -- Mayo Clinic was sued Monday by a Unilever, the maker of Hellmann's mayonnaise, claiming the hospital's actual brick and mortar is not made of egg and oil, an FDA requirement since 1957 for any product that wants to call itself mayonnaise. The lawsuit comes less than a week after the multinational behemoth sued Just Mayo -- a small San Francisco start-up with a vegan alternative to mayonnaise -- for using mayo in their name despite not having the required egg and oil mixture.

Unilever, which claims consumers equate mayo to mayonnaise, is asking Mayo Clinic to add a required egg and oil mixture to all structural components of their campus buildings worldwide or change their name to Not Mayo Clinic.

"The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has very specific requirements for any product calling itself mayonnaise. We are simply asking Mayo Clinic to comply with the law," said Hans Grubble, Head of Unilever's Cease and Desist Orders Division.

Mayo Clinic CEO Dr. John Noseworthy responded to the lawsuit with an offer for free medical care for Unilever representatives involved with the lawsuit. "Anyone who thinks Mayo clinic is Mayonnaise clinic needs to be evaluated. We are offering a free head-to-toe neurological exam for the entire Unilever management team with the best neurologists in the world," said Dr. Noseworthy, who ironically prefers the smell of mustard over mayo for his sandwiches.

Mayo Clinic sued for false advertising

Patient advocacy groups applauded Unilever's action as a step in the right direction for truth in advertisement. One internet website forum claims to have thousands of comments from disgruntled Mayo Clinic patients who say they were not offered real mayonnaise while hospitalized for their unusual symptom complex that always turns out to be psychiatric in nature.

"I could tell my turkey sandwich did not have real mayonnaise when I didn't get severe throat swelling and rash after eating it," said one Mayo Clinic patient who posted her list of 42 other allergies, including the color red and bright lights, on the forum page as proof of her rare affinity for strange allergies.

Dr. Noseworthy defended Mayo Clinic's use of fake mayo as a patient safety issue. "We understand patients may believe they are getting real mayo in their sandwiches when they come here because of our name, but we have studied the issue for years. Our patients have a much higher rate listing life threatening allergies to mayo and our fake mayo policy is a Joint Commission mandate implemented after a rash of real mayo related pseudoseizures and 'just in case intubations' we experienced in the 1990's.

Small Businesses in Illinois Lack Knowledge of What the ACA Has to Offer Them

With Illinois granted early access to the Small Business Health Options Program exchange, or SHOP, small businesses in the state already have the opportunity to familiarize themselves with a new online resource for purchasing health insurance for their employees.

For those that qualify, purchasing health insurance through the SHOP exchange can represent a smart business decision. They can receive tax credits covering up to 50% of their contribution to employee premiums, plus the SHOP allows small businesses to combine their purchasing with other small businesses to keep costs low.

The healthcare law does not require small businesses with fewer than 50 full-time equivalent employees to provide health insurance. Because 94% of businesses in Illinois employ fewer than 50 people, a large majority are exempt from offering health insurance.

The SHOP was meant to minimize the number of people left out of health reform by helping small businesses provide health insurance anyway, with tax credits and collaborative purchasing power incentivizing this option by keeping costs lower.

But to what extent are small businesses taking advantage of the SHOP? Health & Disability Advocates and Crain’s Chicago Business teamed up to find out and conducted a survey of small business owners. The results are documented in a recently released report from Health & Disability Advocates and an article in Crain's Chicago Business.

The survey found that small businesses are not using the SHOP to purchase health insurance and are largely uninformed about it:

Fewer than 18% of small business owners said they had learned “a lot” or a “a great deal” about the SHOP.
Only 11% took advantage of the small business healthcare tax credit.
And finally, 31% of small businesses surveyed said they did not know whether they were receiving the small business healthcare tax credit.

These findings mirror national trends. In a national survey by the National Small Business Association, 8% of small business owners reported they would use the SHOP to buy health insurance. Similar figures from the Kaiser Family Foundation were cited in a recent blog post at The New York Times.

Small businesses would gain from outreach and education on benefits of the SHOP and how to use this resource. Informing the business owners about the SHOP would equip them with information that they could use to enroll their employees in health insurance, an important benefit that helps in retaining and attracting workers.

Since small businesses overwhelmingly rely on brokers when purchasing insurance, the broker community could be a resource in outreach and education efforts. Indeed, brokers are increasingly viewed as vital partners in healthcare outreach and enrollment efforts. For example, during the first enrollment period they played a key role in the famously successful effort in Kentucky. Partnering with brokers to conduct outreach can help increase the numbers of small businesses that offer health insurance – and the number of individuals enrolled in healthcare.

The bottom line is that small businesses in Illinois are not aware of the Small Business Health Options Program, the tax credits available to them, or other ACA provisions that could benefit them. For us to effectively reach these important job creators and help them take advantage of these provisions, we must engage the broker community to provide this new outreach and education to their existing clients.

Bryce Marable, MSW
Policy Analyst
Health & Disability Advocates

Rural Doctor Fired for Not Waving Back to Local Residents in Public.

Abigail, KS -- Brown Community Hospital fired their only Family Medicine physician on Wednesday after town residents complained he never reciprocated the two finger greeting in public. With great fanfare, Dr. Riley Jones had just been hired two months prior after the critical access hospital failed to sign a local physician for the previous three years.

"The CEO welcomed me into in his office with a two-finger-hat-tilt-head-bob-wave and then told me to clean out my desk," said Dr. Jones, who was shocked a hospital would fire the only doctor within 60 miles for failing to wave back in public.

According to hospital officials, Dr. Jones was contractually required to initiate a wave or to wave back to town members as a sign of community respect.

"On numerous occasions, we asked the doctor to participate in our class on How to Improve Patient Satisfaction through Public Hand Waving, but he never complied. His repeated lack of respect for community standards left us no choice but to let him go," said CEO Benny Brainard, known for his right-hand-index-finger-circular-lift-off-the steering-wheel-wave when leaving the hospital in his 2001 Buick Regal.

"I've never been to a small town before. In Kansas City, waving at strangers will get you shot," said Dr. Jones, who has already found another job in a lucrative cash only Kansas City botox clinic for three times the money.

Several years ago, Medicare started paying hospitals based on patient satisfaction scores. Since then, hospitals have placed increasing pressure on physicians to keep patients happy at all costs. A 2013 Gallup survey found rural hospitals could increase their patient satisfaction scores by 28% if physicians facilitated or reciprocated a friendly wave to community residents in public.

Dr. Jones was the target of animosity even before he saw his first patient. "He didn't even acknowledge me when I drove past him at church," said, Annabelle Vedlaceck, one of several elderly ladies who started organizing the doctor's recall just days after his arrival. "I think it's rude not to get the finger from your doctor," said Annabelle, as she greeted the hospital's on-call night nurse, passing by on a bicycle, with a two-finger-chin-bob-left-eye-squint-wave.

Finishing first in his medical school class and saving the life of two local residents after just a week on the job was not enough to overcome dissatisfaction with his lack of hospitality. Multiple town residents met with hospital officials at Bill's Cafe in September to demand Dr. Jones be fired or they would boycott the hospital and travel 60 miles out of their way to Green Community Hospital, where their doctor always gives a friendly left-handed-two-finger-brow-touching acknowledgement to the lay folk.

Outsiders may question the utility of firing the town's only doctor they've had in years for presumed rudeness, but local residents disagree. "The one-finger wave is such a basic part of our community, we just can't let it slide," said John Banner, a farmer who lost all but a single waving finger in a combine accident at the age of 12.

"Getting a one-finger-wave from my doctor is the best medicine I could ever ask for."

Top 10 List of Social Admits Defined!

What is a social admit to the hospital? A social admission is generally accepted by healthcare professionals to be a patient with no acute medical needs that is brought into a hospital because no safe discharge arrangements could be made at the time they presented.

Most social admits involve elderly patients who present to an emergency room with weakness, have a thorough negative workup and are too weak to go home but have no where else to go. They might have a non surgical fracture limiting their mobility or a family refusing to take them home.

Most social admissions occur after-hours when community services are unavailable to assist with a safe discharge. Most patients are admitted through the ER by a Hospitalist to observation status, which often causes the patient to be readmitted a month later with a stroke or a heart attack when they get a bill for thousands of dollars in uncovered Medicare services.

Most of the time, a social admit can be safely discharged within the next 48 hours, which happens to be the time Medicare will pay for observation status. Occasionally, a weekend or a holiday throws a wrench in the plan and hospitals become default nursing homes until discharge can be arranged.

On rare occasion, social admits stay weeks, sometimes months, in a hospital because no long term care facility will accept them. Some patients, and their families in particular, have burned all the bridges in their community nursing homes and patients have no where to go. Occasionally patients are too dangerous for nursing home care and state psychiatric wards refuse to accept them because of other chronic medical needs they can't provide for.

Every now and then hospital medical teams ask adult protective services to start revocation proceedings to strip powers of attorney rights from families of patients they feel are neglected from failure to place into long term care.

What is the longest hospital stay ever? That's a good question readers could shed some light on. Feel free to leave a comment with the longest hospital stay you've ever heard of. This AHRQ graph presented here shows the two most common longest hospital stays are pediatric related with premature birth and infant respiratory distress syndrome. However, neither comes close social admit lore. Some patients have reportedly spent months or years in a hospital waiting for discharge.

Readers have previously shed some light on the definition of a social admit (admit to the hospital to arrange for a nursing home placement) and the social admit marathon (when the admission and arrangement for placement happens twice a month for 3 years). Make sure to update your vocabulary with all the funny medical slang.

What does the Top 10 List of Social Admits look like? The Happy Hospitalist Facebook asked readers to help define The Social Admit and they didn't disappoint. Here is the list of the top 10 social admits based on comment likes.

Nobody, and I mean nobody, wants to do incontinent grandma's colonoscopy bowel prep at home.
I once worked for a cardiologist who was asked to admit an older physician's mom because her home was being painted.
Family took mom off hospice and brought her in for the holidays so they could go out of town for Christmas and New Years.
The family has been caring for grandma at home for a number of years but have suddenly decided on a Friday night at around 9 pm that they can no longer handle it.
Once had a dead patient left in a wheelchair by family.
"My mom hasn't been acting themselves (they are 80+yrs old) I think something is wrong" followed by "If you need to get ahold of us here is our cell number we will be down in the Caribbean for an already planned vacation" as they run out of the hospital leaving a smoke trail.
Wife admitted with pneumonia. She brought in alcoholic spouse because he was "unsafe at home without me." He was admitted after wandering around the ER's seclusion area. They had rooms down the hall from each other, but the man didn't want to allow her to see him because he was mad at her for bringing him in. Nicest drunk I've ever cared for.
Patient was admitted for possible spider bite on arm. Patient only needed high doses of intravenous pain medication and cable TV because WWE was on. Patient and family didn't have cable at home and the hospital was within walking distance for everyone.
Caregiver no-showed and we couldn't get a SNF admit. You know you can find a "UTI" or "pneumonia" on pretty much anyone! Solid goto diagnosis for those social admits.
I have had many a patient show up in the ER with suitcase in hand because they are just going to be admitted no matter what.

Here is the rest of the social admit list compiled by Facebook readers. If you haven't joined, make sure to like the page and never miss another status update again. You won't find this kind of important information anywhere else!

The family is going out of town for a state Basketball tournament and couldn't take grandma.
Long term dementia patient but the family swears there are new mental status changes, increased confusion. Come on. And the million dollar work up begins.
Altered mental status in Alzheimer's patient on a holiday weekend.
I had a patient admitted for "dementia". When I called the hospitalist to notify him of her admission and arrival to the floor he asked what she was admitted for. I said "dementia." He said, "Is that even a diagnosis for admission?" I said listen, "She has dementia and the husband takes care of her but he was admitted for pneumonia and the family doesn't know what to do with her so they wanted to check her in too." So, apparently dementia is in fact an admission diagnosis.
When my great-grandmother had each of her (nine) kids, she stayed in the hospital with the newest baby for 6 weeks in a private room with her own private duty nurse. It's like the complete inverse of social admits now... Instead of being pawned off by a family not willing/able to provide care she was getting away from being the caregiver, and they just paid for it with no middle entity like you did back then. Back to today, my favorite is the social failure-to-discharge: when you discharge a patient yet they're still on your list the next day, and the next, and the next, just because of social/placement issues.
The VA.
Bringing grandma in so family could evacuate for hurricane.
My favorite is the demented John Doe dropped off at the ER entrance with no admission reason but no ID or contact info either. Thanks family.
"Confusion" at 3 a.m. after taking sleeping pills, from the Alzheimers/Dementia unit. Baseline neuro: confusion.
Patient flown in from remote Alaska location for "skin infection" but discovered to be homeless, broke, and has a blister from 5 days of walking around without changing his socks or shoes after he spent time up to his knees in mud.
Family didn't want to take grandma on vacation with them. Decided 90 year old grandma needed admission for ETOH detox.
Bringing grandma in so family could go on a cruise.
Grandma is demented and family was remodeling the house, thus rendering it an unsafe environment for her.
And don't leave out the extended stays! Grandma is ready to discharge Friday but the family can't pick her up until Monday because they're "out of town."
Friday night ER visit: loving son drops off demented mom for confusion but can't be reached until Monday because coincidentally he is out of town for a wedding and demands her discharge Monday morning at 0800.
300+lb middle-aged female that "can't" walk (i.e. wont walk) and has urinary retention, has "servants" that help her in the home but family refused to take her back home with a foley leg bag despite extensive teaching of both patient and family.
How about admission for possible seizures because it was the middle of winter, snowing and the person was homeless.
Family brought grandma in because "it was time for that free nursing home" but demand the really nice one 'cause only the best when it's free!
Patient arrives from another country yesterday to stay with family but family quickly realizes they can't care for them. Patient receives dialysis but treatment hasn't been arranged and patient's insurance doesn't carry to the U.S!
Nursing home drop offs for weekends and holidays for "altered mental status" that have been going on for a week.
I was working at LA County Main admitting one night when a guy came in because he had been evicted at 11 o'clock at night. He knew there was a social worker there at night.
It's Saturday night and family wants to party, so they drop off the patient in the ED with a suitcase full of clothes and say they'll pick her up on Monday.
Currently trying to deal with a chronic lunger who wants to stay because they turned off her electricity. Still has enough cash to buy cigarettes though. Oh yeah, I do have to feed her too. Glad to see my tax money going to a good cause.
Most of the referrals to acute rehab are for social reasons. We are not your grandma's babysitters. * sigh*
When I worked during Hurricane Katrina, we had multiple admits from home because the family didn't want to take their loved ones with them, or they were on home oxygen. Extreme case, but true. Needless to say, our wall oxygen didn't work, we had no running water or electricity, and they were medivac'd out to God knows where.
Wealthy family in a small town has family come to visit. Elderly aunt has a personal care giver with her but dear aunty is admitted to hospital for "HOSPITALITY" level of care! Out to family gatherings during the day but was brought back by 7 pm, put to bed by care giver who then went back to enjoy socializing with the family... the hospital tied up a 2 bed room in a critical access hospital for $10/night! We pottied her, changed her bed etc & were told to cater to her. We had to remind ourselves frequently that if you have the right name & position in the community you can get this service. No one else EVER got "HOSPITALITY " care.
Chicago. Old couple admitted because their heater broke last winter.
Had an ER patient brought by ambulance from another hospital ER because the wait was too long.
Daughter just can't do the dressing changes anymore (had home health for six days a week for a little foot wound) she had to do the dressing once a week (or could have let it go one day)
Constipated severely demented 98 year old whose wife couldn't get him to take laxatives (and would probably have broken both their hips getting to the bathroom if he had taken them).
Parents bring in child on medicaid for running fever all week on Friday night to ER. Leave and come back to take home Sunday afternoon. Can't call it neglect because they left in care of responsible people! Parents get free babysitter for weekend.
Brother and sister admitted for varicella because the family had plans to go to a water park for the weekend.
Because family planned a vacation and forgot to find someone to watch grandma.
Kicked out of assisted living home because of behaviors on continusou oxygen and 22% lung function with severe COPD. Social worker drops him off at ER for "SOB". No where to discharge to! Spent a week admitted walking halls and flirting, room service while someone found him a place to go!!
I thought you were referring to the patient using the phone the entire time with a room filled with company and relatives calling for an update q15m (every last one of them drunk and hungry). After all, the patient does need the sliver removed. My duh. I had to read the other posts. Gotcha.
89 year-old grandma with Alzheimer's brought in by local fire rescue. She was found wandering in her night gown. Police got her address off of a ID necklace she was wearing. When they got to her house they found her husband dead. During the middle of the night he had passed from a massive MI and no one was around to take care of her.
Husband has been taking care of wife at home, who has advanced multiple sclerosis for 10+ years. Apparently no followup, no therapy, no home care. Decides on Monday that since he's having back surgery on Thursday, he can't care for her. (Sad thing is, she went skilled and will probably never go back home. She's 56.) Sad social admit, because she had no acute illness, but so preventable.
Why is it always grandma and never grandpa

Editor: Good point!

"Ask your hospitalist today if mom is too old to hyperventilate and they'll work the system to get her free entry into the Nursing Home Marathon paid for by Medicare"