St Patrick's Day Nursing Humor: Saint Potty's Day Celebration!

(HNN) While March 17th is a Saint Patrick's Day celebration for the Irish,  the beer lovers and the color green, it is also a day of excitement for nurses everywhere.  You see, March 17th is also known as Saint Potty's Day.  That's not a typo folks.  Saint Potty's Day is the glorious day of bladder salvation for hard working nurses all across this great world of ours.  While St. Patrick's Day marks the arrival of Christianity in Ireland, St. Potty's Day provides a once a year opportunity for nurses to enjoy at least one scheduled pee break in a 12 hour shift.

According to legend, Saint Potty was a 14th century recluse with post obstructive uropathy.  Many theologians believe Saint Potty had a rare form of early onset prostrate hypertrophy.  Saint Potty rarely left his home for fear of urinating all over himself.  Back in the 15th century, any man or woman caught peeing on themselves was forced to bear a yellow tattoo on their genitalia that said Out Of Order.  As any woman who has ever read Harrision's Principles of Internal Medicine knows,  an Out Of Order tattoo on the male genitals is a red flag symptom and any woman hoping for a long and prosperous relationship had best go on their merry way.

Once the bladder problems struck, Saint Potty never left his mother's home.  Then came tragedy.  At the age of 58, Saint Potty's mother died suddenly of old age.    This left Saint Potty lonely and in search of companionship.   March 17th happened to be the 420th annual Scent of a Women Festival.  It was a joyous occasion that, for centuries, provided women an opportunity to find their pheromonic relationship for life.  One can understand quickly why the smell of pee is not compatible with this meet and greet event.  Move over Juan Pablo.  Before his bladder incontinence struck him at the ripe young age of 17, Saint Potty was the Festival's favorite bachelor ten years running.  

After 20 years of living in his mother's basement and one week after his mother's death,  March 17th, 1469 marked the day of tragedy that forever changed Saint Potty's life and the nurses of this world over 500 years later.   Saint Potty jimmy-rigged a crude version of today's Foley catheter in hopes of hiding his incontinence.    He strapped a leg bag under his sheep skins and danced away the night at the Scent of a Women Festival.  He had the pick of the litter that night.  Every woman screamed "IT'S POTTY TIME" at the top of their lungs.  That is, until his bag broke and his pee pee went splat all over the dance floor.  Saint Potty was taken immediately to Big John's tattoo parlor and died the following week.

Fast forward to 1979.  Nursling Janey Jo Johnson was writing one of her biweekly research papers titled What's The Longest A Nurse Has Ever Gone Without Peeing? when she came upon the legend of Saint Potty.  She realized most nurses where just like him.   What started on March 17th, 1979 as one small nursing college's celebration of  scheduled pee breaks has turned into the largest nurse holiday in the world.   Most busy hospital nurses have at some point or another gone their entire 12 hour shift without peeing.  Saint Potty's Day is a world wide effort to provide all hospital nurses at least one mandatory three minute pee break during a twelve hour shift.  One pee-r reviewed nursing journal titled Nursing Journal Of Low Urine Output questioned the merits of such a policy.  They are now out of business.  

Twenty-five years later, Janey Jo Johnson, RN, MSN, M&M and PRN, now a night nurse at a top 100 hospital according to Newsweek says she is proud about what she has accomplished.  "Newsweek just named us the best hospital in the country for nurses to work at.  I think that has a lot to do with our mandatory two pee breaks an hour we all enjoy.  In fact,  I've never had a UTI despite being treated for gonorrhea and syphilis three times over my illustrious 25 year career in the trenches.  For us, every day is Saint Potty's Day."

Now, please enjoy these original crude medical ecards from The Happy Hospitalist Pinterest site that contains hundreds of one-liners for your professional enjoyment.

"Saint Potty's Day.  Because a scheduled bathroom break is worth celebrating."

"I got to pee three times today.  Said no nurse ever."

This site is for entertainment purposes only and contains humor that may only be understood by some healthcare professionals.  Read at your own risk.

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