Every patient that gets admitted to a hospital is, by default, a full code. That means if their heart stops beating or their lungs stop breathing, emergency resuscitation teams will rush in to save 98 year old grandma who wants every thing done. "Of course, why wouldn't she?" Grandma hasn't been in the upright position for 3 years, but somehow, doing CPR and cracking all her ribs in a horrifying assault is considered standard of care to be asked for by families who need grandma's social security check to make their boat payment every month. Yes, that really happens.
On the other hand, some patients and families understand the limitations and fragile nature of human life and rightfully request doctors and nurses not to take out their daily aggressions on grandma's decomposing body by allowing a natural death when that day comes. They ask that an order be placed in the chart to allow a natural death (often written as do not resuscitate (DNR) and or do not intubate (DNI)) when that day comes. These patients and families understand the reality of the human body.
And then there are the patients who know what they want, but have a hard time articulating their needs, as these original Happy Hospitalist medical ecards helps to explain below. I once took care of a crazy chick who didn't want to be incubated. I don't blame her. She wanted me to write an order for Do Not Incubate, but I was too chicken to do it. I didn't want some nurse crying fowl on me. I told her I would not allow a Do Not Incubate order on my watch and that if she needed incubating I was going to personally order a rapid sequence incubation on her and consult the poulmunologist to assist with her cares. Make sure to check out these other great patient quotes and sayings!
"The patient requested a Do Not Incubate order, but I was too chicken to write for it."
On the other hand, some patients and families understand the limitations and fragile nature of human life and rightfully request doctors and nurses not to take out their daily aggressions on grandma's decomposing body by allowing a natural death when that day comes. They ask that an order be placed in the chart to allow a natural death (often written as do not resuscitate (DNR) and or do not intubate (DNI)) when that day comes. These patients and families understand the reality of the human body.
And then there are the patients who know what they want, but have a hard time articulating their needs, as these original Happy Hospitalist medical ecards helps to explain below. I once took care of a crazy chick who didn't want to be incubated. I don't blame her. She wanted me to write an order for Do Not Incubate, but I was too chicken to do it. I didn't want some nurse crying fowl on me. I told her I would not allow a Do Not Incubate order on my watch and that if she needed incubating I was going to personally order a rapid sequence incubation on her and consult the poulmunologist to assist with her cares. Make sure to check out these other great patient quotes and sayings!
"The patient requested a Do Not Incubate order, but I was too chicken to write for it."
Also, lethargy is a loaded word for doctors. If you don't think the patient needs incubating, please choose a different word, as this ICU card helps to explain.
"Lethargic means really sick to doctors. Like incubate sick. If you don't think the patient needs incubating, please choose a different word."
Do you have any idea how many times a day Googlers search for "incubating" as it relates to ventilation support. I'm am striving for the #1 spot but am stuck in #4, as you can see. In an effort to rid this world of deadly prostrate cancer and incubations gone wild, rest assured, Happy is working diligently to try and capture lay public readers at every opportunity to set them straight with his no nonsense approach to education.
This post is for entertainment purposes only and likely contains humor only understood by those in a healthcare profession. Read at your own risk.
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